“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19 (NIV)
There was a moment I’ll never forget—when my foster son, who had been with us for just three weeks, looked me in the eye after a tough day and asked, “Are you going to send me back now?” His voice was low, his body braced for rejection. I bent down to his level, put my hand gently on his shoulder, and said with tears in my eyes, “Sweetheart, love doesn’t send people back. I’m not giving up on you.”
It wasn’t a moment of dramatic transformation for him—at least not outwardly—but something softened. A flicker of hope. A question answered not just with words, but with the quiet power of presence and promise. That day, I realized something deeper: unconditional love isn’t always loud or grand. Sometimes, it’s just staying when others have left. Loving when it’s hard. Choosing to see the heart, not just the behavior.
And isn’t that exactly what God does for us?
A Reflection on God’s Love
When we step into the world of foster care and adoption, we step into a divine calling—one that mirrors the heart of our Heavenly Father. Scripture paints a vivid picture of God as the One who adopts us into His family (Ephesians 1:5), calls us His children (John 1:12), and lavishes us with love, not because we’ve earned it, but because He is love (1 John 4:8).
God didn’t wait for us to be healed before He embraced us. He didn’t require perfect behavior or polished performance. He simply loved—first, freely, and fully. That’s the foundation of every healing journey: not rules, not perfection, but unconditional love.
And that’s what every child in the foster care system and every adoptive family needs to thrive—love that stays, even when things get messy.
The Love That Transforms
Children who come from hard places often come with broken trust, deep pain, and survival habits that make loving them challenging. But that’s where the Gospel becomes our strength.
The Bible reminds us in Romans 5:8: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus loved us not after we cleaned up, but in our mess. He loved us when we were pushing Him away. He loved us through our rebellion and fear.
In the same way, we are called to love the children placed in our care—not conditionally, not temporarily, but like Christ.
Unconditional love is not blind to brokenness, but it chooses to respond with grace over judgment, presence over punishment, and faith over fear. It says, “I see your pain, but I’m not afraid of it. I see your story, but I believe it doesn’t end in tragedy. I see you, and I’m staying.”
That kind of love heals wounds that therapy alone can’t reach. It builds trust in a child’s heart where only fear once lived. It becomes the soil where new life can grow.
A Practical Step of Faith: Loving Through God’s Strength
Let’s be honest: loving unconditionally is hard. Especially when trauma speaks louder than gratitude. When outbursts feel personal. When progress is slow, and your energy is lower than your coffee supply.
But here’s the truth: you’re not called to do it in your own strength.
God never intended for you to carry this load alone. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Not some things. All things. Including parenting a child with trauma. Including forgiving when it’s hard. Including staying steady when chaos swirls.
So here’s your step of faith today:
- Pause and remember God’s love for you. Let His grace fill the places where you feel empty.
- Pray before reacting. Invite the Holy Spirit into your parenting moments.
- Practice presence more than perfection. Your child needs you, not a perfect response.
- Speak life over your children, especially when their actions scream the opposite. Call out their potential, not just their problems.
- Lean on community. God places people in your life—church family, mentors, therapists—so you don’t have to walk this alone.
A Heartfelt Encouragement
If you’re reading this with a weary heart, know this: God sees you. He is El Roi—the God who sees (Genesis 16:13). He sees the nights you cry, the prayers you whisper over sleeping children, the silent sacrifices no one applauds. And He is with you.
You’re not failing because it’s hard. You’re being faithful in the hard. And that’s where miracles often begin.
The love you offer today may not yield instant results, but seeds are being planted. And the God who began a good work in you—and in your children—will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).
Closing Prayer
Father God,
Thank You for loving us with a love that never gives up, never walks away, and never keeps score. Teach us to love our children the way You love us—unconditionally, patiently, and persistently. Strengthen our hearts when we feel weary. Give us eyes to see our children the way You see them—through grace, not just behavior. Help us be vessels of Your healing love, even when it’s hard. We declare today that love wins. Because You are love, and You are with us.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
You Are Not Alone
As you continue your journey, remember: you are part of a greater story. A story of redemption. A story where God takes brokenness and births beauty. A story where your faith, even in the smallest moments, is writing a legacy of love that will echo for generations.
You were chosen for this calling. And God—your ever-present Father—is walking with you every step of the way. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:8)